First plan

(Finally in english :))

First plan

I feel. That's true, and i cannot change that no matter how much i try or want.

That's it, the last time this happened, i told to myself that i would change, with a loud and clear tone, i said it in my room, in kitchen, in toilet and in the hall. But when the time is passing the breath of my voice gets lower and softer like if a spoon of honey lined in my throat.

Ecstatic in my thoughts i react gasped when i hear the door opening behind me, for the first time i feel your feet entering very quiet into the room. You shake from your coat the rest of the snow which didn't have time to melt after you climb two floors. I wait until you take the panoply of cloth that you bring upon on you, because i know how much cold you have when you go outside. I turn a little bit and there you are, all the time i look at you i feel that is the first time that i do it, because my hear increases his beat, i look into those blue eyes hidden behind that metallic frame which fits in your face perfectly.

Little by little you came to me, i make the same and in the hurry to come, you stumble and i hold you in the last moment. You say that you are sorry and trying to escape you give me a kiss with your cold lips. I invite you to seat saying that the dinner is ready, without knowing what to do i spin in the kitchen like dizzy cockroach.

Slowly i calm down what i never could dominate. I speak with you while we eat, i love to look at you when you speak about your day, when you make that little pause and you say "hmmm nooo", when you laugh about your own jokes with your tongue tied in those white teeth, your red face when it gets warm when we goes to the flavour of the conversation.

Are this little things that makes me come back and rephrase what i told someday, taking the risk to say again what the Portuguese people says "i knew it, i warn you".
All of this happen a year ago, what the destiny have for me now? I'm afraid of course, but now i'm at that point that i can no longer come back. It's like someone told me, this kind of stuff you can't control. And it's simple to see that, because i just look to the watch and its 5:40 in the morning and i will have exam at 12...

The plan wasn't this one, but what I can do now is waiting to see what it will happen and then i will see which will be the first plan.
(By: Niu_esi)